Trying To Find Out If I'm Lost

by Gabe Hascall

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      $8 USD  or more

     

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.

credits

released August 3, 2017

mastered by Timothy Stollenwerk for Stereophonic Mastering -
Portland, OR

Photo by David Thomas Richardson

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Gabe Hascall Portland, Oregon

contact / help

Contact Gabe Hascall

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: I Tripped Bad
I set foot in front of the other foot and I tripped bad
I made peace with falling all over the place just in case
someone is always watching and trying to see if I’m still paranoid
if I knew what I wanted long ago why don’t I know now

the lights are dark but it’ll only take a spark
to start a fire tomorrow
and finish what I started
way off in the distance if I meet my resistance
I’ll hammer myself home or be dead as a doornail

I won’t say what I expected to find here until it appears
for now I’ve got all I need in front of me except a key
to unlock a door in the floor that opens to my room with a view
I’d relinquish my dying wish if I could have it now

the lights are dark but it’ll only take a spark
to start a fire tomorrow
and finish what I started
in every imaginable way I’ll be different every day
to appreciate the contrast
and hope it never ends
Track Name: Trying To Find Out If I'm Lost
if I have a part to play
in part it’ll be because I never wanted it
if I have a guitar to play
I’ll keep it in tune all afternoon

the party is finished when the sun sets upside down
the person I’m playing is running me right into the ground
I hear my voice
it’s the only one
I wish I could see a way to see a way to go away to sea

if I forget to say everything right
I hope I remember to be right on time
the day I choose to be who I am
I’ll wake up early for the final exam

the party is finished when the sun sets upside down
the person I’m playing is running me right into the ground
I hear your voice
it’s the right one
the way things have been going I’ve been going crazy
trying to find out if I’m lost
Track Name: Foolish As I Might Be
I’ve been wearing a wristwatch on my ankle
and it’s cutting off the blood
that was traveling from my toes past my nose
and up into my head
I made my bed and admired it until bedtime
in the past I lasted though the night
on an almost nightly basis
basically I was playing dumb or running hot
feeling hollow as a tree
and hopefully I didn’t do permanent damage

*if I am foolish as I might be
I know I’m crazier than I should be
the difference I always have to lean on
is I’m sure I always know the difference between
when I’m blind and when I’m seeing
but I’ve seen too many days in darkness
I’m open to a change of pace but I’m keeping
my memories because they’re mine

today I saw a flickering light from far away
it might have been yesterday
I saw a mouse on a big screen TV
it was as big as me
perspective is playing a part
I suspected it all along
Track Name: Dreaming Or In A Nightmare
there’s a lot of trees in the way
when I try to look to the other side of the forest
all sorts of weight is weighing me down
it’s too much to walk myself across the woods

sometimes I get close to figuring I’ll get going
but then I look around
it’s like I’m not going anywhere
if I could be anyone I would
but I wouldn’t know if I was dreaming or in a nightmare

I called off my dog in the fight
the fight is just a metaphor for something
as I walk my way across the world
I’m wondering if I’m not doing it right

sometimes I get close to figuring I’ll keep going
but then I see myself
I’m not keeping on my good side
if I could be anyone I would
but I wouldn’t know if I was dreaming or in a nightmare
Track Name: All I Could Afford
after practically nothing
more than hello
we were playing games
like on a game show
and I didn’t like it
because some one had to win
I kept walking away
until I wondered where I’d been

I know it’s possible to be everywhere at once
the energy is easy is easy to see
if you close your eyes you’ll be surprised
someone said I’d have to be dead in order to be quiet
it’s probably true when I’m with you
I just want to say what I did today

I bet it’s cold as hell
in the middle of nowhere
I bought a one way ticket
it said buyer beware

I know it’s possible to be everywhere at once
the energy is easy to see
if you close your eyes you’ll be surprised
I made out like a bandit stealing money on a train
I was walking along the tracks
and I jumped on board it’s all I could afford
Track Name: Became A Ghost
in half the time it takes to take apart a thought it’s passed me by
and twice I say out loud I can’t repeat myself but then I do
if I had some sense I would have no defense
when I’m left alone I make up conversations and act out all the parts
and when I’m in a crowded room I won’t let anyone say a word
I’m too busy talking
but at the door I hear a knocking

the one I always want to see the most is always you
but I’m lost because I became a ghost
all I do is fly around and walk through walls and mess things up
I know there’s more in store for me

in the background I’ve been making blurry faces trying to get noticed
I’ve been fooling myself instead of facing facts in front of me
I don’t know what’s real
because I don’t know what’s not real

the one I always want to see the most is always you
but I need to know you need me too
if we say someday I can’t believe we made it
I’ll say I always knew we would

just because the world is complicated doesn’t mean it has to be
when we hear our song we’ll sing together and swim right out to sea
Track Name: Climb the Stairs
I got caught in the way of a passing glance
and I gave up my dream of being invisible
something lost turned out was never real
my fate was sealed
was already missing something else

the distance between here and there is never gonna be too far
I’ll climb the stairs up to the stars
and look back to see the world
the only thing I can’t forget is what I’ve always known

I had fear and I wanted to get out of here
I spent my days basically sideways
no one told me love was looking at me from above
said goodbye to fate and fell out of the starting gate

the distance between here and there is never going to be too far
I’ll climb the stairs up to the stars
and look back to see the world
the only thing I can’t forget is where I have been

I’ve been around the block and got turned around
and if I’m turning back the clock I’m slowing down
reflections always look the same
they never change
and right now is real more than ever

the distance between here and there is never going to be too far
I’ll climb the stairs up to the stars
the full force of feeling free will make me never want to be
someone else again
Track Name: Probably Poisoned the Well
I have probably poisoned the well by asking
but it’s only because I wanted to know
something I discovered was that
no matter what I’m right or I’m wrong
I walked by what I wanted and I wanted it more
we became a postcard framed for future reference
and arguments

in the spring I see everything and I know it with my heart
in the fall I feel free from it all but I still get confused too easily
and sometimes I get angry quickly
I’m trying to outlast my interest
but I can’t because it’s interesting

if I were pronouncing a name that meant nothing
I’d say it until I made someone up
if I was undressed in a dream and I seemed unhappy
it’s probably because I needed some clothes
when I walk by what I want I want it more
we don’t know unless we borrow someone else’s experience

in the spring I see everything and I know it with my heart
in the fall I’m above it all but I’m sometimes still prone to problems
so I’m trying to be solution oriented
besides that I don’t know what else to say
except that it’s not true
Track Name: Remember Today
someday we’ll look back and remember how we were meant to be
someday we’ll laugh about how crazy in love we still are

I believed it all along because I saw it in your eyes
you made me feel like I belong
you made me feel recognized

I can’t imagine wasting a day ever again
as long as you’re with me we’ll never wonder what might have been

I’ve never seen someone so pretty
or known someone so smart
when you walk around the city
it’s like performance art
I used to think I didn’t deserve to feel this way
now I know better
years from now we’ll remember today
Track Name: the Last Ones
on a level best described by dips that’ll drop you to the floor
I beat up myself and got hit in the lip
it’s what I was asking for
I managed to make a mess of my morning meal
if I was a dog I wouldn’t have even noticed

I came close to getting clean
so I dropped some dirt in my hair
I was on my way to say I’m sorry
but decided I didn’t really care
the only person I trust is me
but I don’t really seem very trustworthy

*instead of making plans we should randomly run around
and sit down in the last remaining chairs and stay there
until the music starts again
until we’re the last ones*

I found nothing funny when I was wanting to be seen in a serious light
I bet all my money I’d be broke before I quit making stupid bets
I got a call from my oldest friend
he said he was getting ready to die of old age
Track Name: It's Already Happening
I bit my tongue to prove a point
and bled instead of saying a word
when I heard my name get called
I stared at the wall and smiled with my eyes

I have honestly been thinking about the future
but I have mostly been creating all my problems

once I made myself wake up
I was happy all day to get it out of the way
once I said something that made sense
I waited and then and I said it again

I have honestly been thinking about the future
but I have hardly even noticed it’s already happening
Track Name: Imagined All Of It
something I had said set my whole world in motion
I was sleeping by the ocean but waking in the bathtub
I went down the block and stopped to smell the roses
my heart still supposes I know where I’ll be headed

in my dreams it always seems
exactly right because I imagined all of it
I want to know if I live and grow
I will see it all for what it is

I made some mistakes and carried them around
I couldn’t stand the sound
I was starting to go crazy
I heard all the words but nothing in particular
my thoughts were perpendicular
but parallel in passing

is it going to be enough to just ask questions
will the day slow down if I speed myself up
the price I would pay is the same today
it’s recklessly reasonable

in my dreams it always seems
exactly right because I imagined all of it
if the scene is set and the truth is real
I will see it all
all over
Track Name: Sand and Snow
I passed on a lot of chances
to pass on to the next adventure
if I’d have had hold of my finances
I would have given a dollar to one hundred people

in the blink of an eye life is incompatible with living
over time
we finally find the phone that’s ringing
every day is a blessing to get cursed with
if I want to stay I have to remember

on the way to where we’re going
we’ll pass right through to where we want to be
in the desert if it’s still snowing
I’ll make a man made of sand and snow

in the blink of an eye life is incompatible with living
and over time
we finally find the haystack needle
every day is a blessing to get cursed with
if I want to stay I have to remind myself
for days until it sinks in and stays put