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Relative Truth

by Gabe Hascall

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1.
even if we’re honest we still won’t know the degree of honesty even though we’re hung up on truth it’s a fool’s errand because truth is relative I don’t have what I arrived here with I seem to have lost it I paid my way so I wouldn’t feel guilty but now I feel like a sucker when something’s small it’s microscopic when something’s big it’s larger than life I’ve been bouncing between the poles I’m gonna spend next summer at the equator I don’t have what I arrived here with I seem to have lost it my relative truth is if I don’t let go I’m gonna get carried away and be gone
2.
supernatural circumstances stand up to some scrutiny people dying stop to dance as time stands still hypnotically in the saucepan is a small man made of plastic melting down out the back door there’s a great war fought and won under the sun I spelled it out for someone and I heard it read back to me perfume filled the nose and burned the eyes but not enough to blind all those who opposed perfume got left behind to smell unkind I made it back for more and I fought my greatest fear it’s natural to need the foundation and the framework but it’s necessary to see that’s it’s all still gonna crumble below the bottom line is the center of the hot earth above the crooked spine is a dangling skeleton head landlocked in a desert house deserted by a coastal creature made friends with a mouse he mistakenly made me his teacher but I’ve never been a mouse and I don’t know how to be one it’s natural to need the foundation and the framework but it’s necessary to know that’s it’s all still gotta go if we could just stay here then here wouldn’t even be special if we could just stay here we’d dream of waking up
3.
in the drivers seat it’s never ok to fall asleep instead of driving in the bed of a truck it’s probably ok to doze off but it’s way too bumpy all the money in the world wouldn’t be enough for what I would pay to stay in bed all day it’s not that I’m trying to actively avoid the act of living it’s just that I’m addicted to feeling rested and ready to go I know I need to find balance I keep falling over and I can’t walk around with a pole it’s not my goal my ears are ringing more than they ever have my voice is singing a song about my ears my head is filled with ideas undertaken my understanding is expanding over time I believed in a false prophet and it motivated my movements I believed in a true crime story that most likely made no sense why would anybody want to kill I belong on a farm where I’m free to roam and free to sleep all afternoon it’s sooner than you think the waiting game feels like more of the same my head is filled with ideas undertaken my understanding is standing on hind legs
4.
when I showed concern for other people it must have mostly been a show I don’t remember if I was conscious of it I don’t recall anything at all when I ponder the point of a story I wonder if it needed to be made I’m an animal in an allegory I put on shoes not made for humans every time I tilt my head I see the world as I would if I walked with a lean but if I close my eyes instead all I see is it doesn’t even matter valet parking spoiled me rotten and I only ever did it one time I don’t really want to make a fuss I probably need to just ride the bus every time I tilt my head I see the world as I would if I walked with a lean but if I close my eyes instead all I see is it doesn’t even matter
5.
on the way back to here I heard a voice say in my ear what are you doing where have you been I ignored it and then it said it again superficial as I might be I know all that matters is to be free whatever the opposite of alone is that’s what I am usually I just want to sit in a room by myself if I could go back in time I’d try to change the paradigm and pair myself with a doppelganger we’d hang our coats on coat hangers and live our lives wrinkle free superficial as that might be I wish I could blame this all on someone I can’t but I want to unfortunately no one looks like me
6.
seriously certain of one thing and another thing counting to two gives me something to do there’s probably more somewhere behind the door there’s probably an answer but the question is unanswerable tugging at heart strings unravels the blood pumper the heart of the action is the center of the universe smiles are miles wide there’s nothing to hide but sometimes they’re fake it feels sneaky as a snake it’s painfully obvious that teeth getting pulled is gonna hurt like hell it’s blissfully ignorant to watch the clouds go by instead of chasing them despite all the best efforts for and against it it feels like we’re back right where everything started four minus three is the one thing I’m talking about * I used to add things up now I take things away it’s painfully obvious that teeth getting pulled is gonna hurt like hell it’s glowing inside the house because a light switched on and it’s dark out here it’s also cold
7.
when I think about you all I want to do is hold you close I very nearly lost you it’s not normal to see someone made like me and you love me not in spite of but because of and now we’re right here we disappear and reemerge every morning better it takes courage to be willing to be free you’ve been fearless ever since I met you sometimes the wind chimes sing a song we might never have known sometimes the world looks like it couldn’t be more forgiving when I first saw you I think I felt confused I couldn’t make sense of your beauty if I had known back then I’d have grabbed a pen and written down exactly what I was feeling now we’re right here on the frontier of finding out love is formless I made a formal request to keep me at my best but I know it’s not so simple as I make it sometimes the wind chimes sing a song we might never have known sometimes the earth moves right under our feet when we’re walking all I can do is promise I’ll always do all I can do please let me love you right now forever
8.
I sleep soundly when I hear a sound I usually don’t wake up if I’m asleep I’m wondering if my senses even work at all I had had a plan to get a tan but when I go outside I want to hide myself right under a tree in my absence I had sense enough to know I wasn’t around entire weeks went by before I noticed I was having fun maybe fun is way too strong a word maybe overthinking starts me drinking when I think I’ve stopped I emerge right on the verge of a cliff and keep my balance because down below there’s a rainbow which means I’m really high up in the grass I pass the time watching blades individually I think about my parents and I think about my children I’m hoping in a year I’ll have no fear but time is just a myth that we’ve all been putting up with I emerge right on the verge of a cliff and keep my balance because as I suspected it’s all connected which means that me and the mountain are one
9.
I put up walls to keep me away from the things I keep behind them and I made up stories instead of listening to other people backed in a corner office everyone else is cautious they don’t even walk backwards anymore I am a true believer but also an underachiever and I’m over it one of the words I searched for in the dictionary was nowhere to be found I figured I must have made it up or maybe I just misspelled it it’s seemingly ordinary but the basis is voluntary it’s always hard to get a real good read I am a true believer but also an underachiever and I vote with my throat
10.
a blueberry was hiding in my pancake and I ate it the juice got on my white shirt so I washed it but I washed it with a red sock and now I’m the proud owner of a pink shirt I’m closer to feeling what it feels like to be far away it started when I couldn’t stop laughing at my own jokes I walked in circles to tire myself out until I realized I was tired of always walking every once in a while when it’s quiet it’s necessary to be noisy for no reason to make believe it’s possible to have power to make sure everyone is listening I’m closer to feeling what it feels like to be far away it started when I couldn’t stop frowning at reflections if I was able to I’d climb under the table to eat all the scraps but I’d do it like a gentleman after a full day I’m not sure what to say after a long night I’m surprised by the daylight when I walk in circles I imagine I’m driving a race car as slow as a race car could possibly go
11.
if pyramids are triangles then the moon is a circle the squares out there are worse for wear so they’re crying in right angles conclusions say everyday it’s something or the other all along we all belong and the circle sun is smiling every blessing keeps me guessing I’m a stranger to my point of view the one thing I cant think about is the only thing I think about and so the stage is setting fast the page is turning from the past the meteoric metaphoric moment is making a mockery of most everything instead of staying still cried a little and died a little a lot the details don’t matter dressing rooms get swept by brooms and the floor keeps score the bombardier is full of fear the power is a curse up until now I didn’t know how to find a way that’s easy every blessing keeps me guessing I’m a stranger to my point of view the only thing I want to say won’t matter if I say it that way and so the stage is setting fast the page is turning from the past the halfway mark is in the dark the finish line is by design and I’ll share with you because sharing is fantastic
12.
eyes fixed on faces look through they see symmetrically hands hold each other up and rob each other blind brains fail at the worst times and instinct is a rabid dog hair is going everywhere it must’ve been a long night if it’s possible it’s only going to get more confusing when we’re all done hopefully we’ve never had so much fun it’s better to get lost in losing track of time the track record is broken in a light flash sometimes I change radically it happens just sporadically my hands are holding on for life but my eyes are staring down death if it’s possible it’s only going to get more confusing when we’re all done hopefully we’ve never had so much fun a truckload of treasure backed on up to my house I’m pretty sure this is where I live
13.
I’d forget my own head if it weren’t attached and I’d be late to my own funeral if I needed more time I got let loose when I wanted to be left alone and I got picked up when I couldn’t get off the ground there’s something to be said for living until you’re dead the race as it’s run is supposed to be fun it’s supposed to be easy time will tell when it’s good and well when I’m ready to hear it and then I’ll know I gotta let go before I hold on tightly my biggest fear if I stay right here is I’ll miss my chance to get moving the happiest thought could be forgot if it isn’t allowed exercise there’s something to be said for living until you’re dead the race as it’s run is supposed to be fun it’s supposed to be easy

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released May 25, 2018

Mastering by Timothy Stollenwerk >>Stereophonic Mastering

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Gabe Hascall Austin, Texas

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